Republikanerna i Iowa har i dag presenterat sin politiska plattform. Här följer några av många märkliga förslag i dokumentet:

 

1. ”We believe candidates for President of the United States must show proof of being a “natural born citizen” as required by Article II, Section I of the Constitution – beginning with the 2012 election.”

– Ja, det ska förstås som att Barack Obama inte är en legitim president – han är ju född i Kenya!

 

2. ”We believe public university, college, and school buildings should not restrict possession of firearms by those legally possessing a concealed carry permit, as this endangers our students.  More generally, we believe in eliminating restrictions on where a law-abiding, properly licensed, concealed-carry permit holder may carry their weapon.”

– Men vilket utmärkt förslag. Barn och ungdomar som går omkring med skjutvapen i skolan.

 

3. ”We oppose the teaching of homosexual behavior as a normal or acceptable lifestyle in our government schools.”

– Suck.

 

4. ”We call for the repeal of the law denying a citizen’s right to bear arms based on a single conviction for simple misdemeanor domestic assault.”

– Hustrumisshandlare måste också få bära vapen. 

 

5. ”We believe that sex education should not be taught as a mandatory course in public schools.  The teaching of sex education in any form, at any grade level, to any student shall be with written parental consent only.  When taught, sex education should stress abstinence outside of marriage as the surest way to prevent pregnancy, the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, and associated psychological problems.”

– Hej klassen, i dag ska vi prata om sexualkunskap. Gift er. Ja, då var det slut för i dag. Ni kan ta rast nu.

 

6. ”We call for each immigrant to again be required to have a sponsor for at least two years to assist them in assimilating into the culture and for them to become fluent in the American English language. During that period they could not become eligible for any welfare assistance, but instead would be the responsibility of the sponsor.”

 – Undrar hur jag raggar sponsorer som vill ta hand om mig i Iowa? Personligt säljmaterial? Power-Point?

 

7. ”We believe all individuals have the freedom to choose the quality of air in their home.”

– Vi som kräver att få andas asbests i hemmet.