Jag fick precis ett mail av Timo Tammius. Det var en länk till en text om Kimi Räikkönen, den förlorade sonen som är tillbaka och som vi minns för hans naturliga snabbhet, inte för hans fantastiska svar på presskonferenser. Jag kunde inte låta bli att le när jag läste den och ni kommer säkert också att göra det.

Därför återger jag texten från f1zone.net direkt här:

The Words and Wisdom of Kimi

By Phillip Horton on Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Often remembered for his monosyllabic nature, Kimi’s interviews can be fairly funny…

On tyres…

I don’t know and it doesn’t mean anything to me. Tyres are what they are.

On Alonso’s mind games…

I couldn’t care less what that man thinks.

On weather conditions…

It’s all the same if it rains or not.

On Finland…

Well, in summer there’s fishing and fucking. And in winter… the fishing is bad.

On the 2006 season…

It doesn’t interest me yet what is going to happen. You’ll see it then.

Kimi, what’s the 5th grid place like?

It’s the 5th grid place.

On Hungarian GP 2007:

Boring race.

On Ron Dennis:

He’s strange now and then. He always wants to know everything. He doesn’t interest me.

What makes TAG Heuer special?

It’s ok.

What kind of an atmosphere do you think McLaren has right now (the spy saga)?–

I bet it’s fucking great.

On the Constructor’s Championship…

The Constructor’s Championship doesn’t really mean anything to me.

On what Sir Jackie Stewart says…

I’m not interested in what Jackie says. He hasn’t got anything to do with me.

On what David Coulthard says…

Coulthard can say what he wants. I’m not interested in what he’s saying.

On what Jarno Trulli says…

I don’t give a damn about what Trulli says.

On what Juan Pablo Montoya says…

Montoya’s comments doesn’t interest me.

On what Lewis Hamilton says (I wonder…)

It doesn’t matter what he says.

On not seeing red lights in the pit lane…

If there’s a red light when you leave the pit lane you have to stop. Then some wooden eye (Hamilton) crashes into you and breaks the car.

On the media…

What the papers write about me afterwards makes me laugh.

Formula 1 would be a paradise without the media.

I’m not interested in what people think about me. I’m not Michael Schumacher.

On what it feels to drive at 300 km/h?

It feels normal.

On idols?

There aren’t any.

What kind of a relationship do you have with Peter Sauber?

He is my boss.

Is he a father figure or a god father?

He is my boss.

The helmet has a special meaning for many drivers. How important is it to you?

It protects my head.

Do you have any special rituals when the helmet is concerned like many have?

I wipe it so that I can see better.

What would you if you met an alien, run away out of fear or try to talk to him?

The problem won’t arise so I don’t imagine meeting one.

Martin Brundle: “Kimi Raikkonen doesn’t seem interested in the proceedings going on up there. Kimi, you missed the presentation by Pele.”
Kimi (nonchalantly): “Yeah.”
Martin: ”Will you get over it?”
Kimi: “Yeah. I was having a shit.”
Martin: “OK, thanks for that! Obviously you’ll have a nice light car on the grid, then.”

Describe yourself. What are you made of ?

Blood, flesh and bone like everybody else!

Interviewer: The most exciting moment during the race weekend?
Kimi: I think so it’s the race start, always.
Interviewer: The most boring?
Kimi: Now.

On San Marino 2001…

Suddenly the steering wheel was in my hands. I tried to put it back on, but it was too late. I was just wondering where I was going to end up.

Is it true that sometimes you’re bored in the car?
Only when I am in front by a country mile, like in Melbourne last year. Then you are thinking about other things or you’re playing with the buttons on the steering wheel. Then I suddenly missed a braking point. This year unfortunately we haven’t had such race.

Q: (Peter Windsor – F1 Racing) Kimi, I’m sure you’re aware that, as a result of the seventeen laps you led in Hungary, McLaren Mercedes, for the first time this year, have now led more racing laps than the Mercedes safety car driven by Bernd Maylander. I just wonder how you see that battle developing in the remaining races and how strong McLaren will be versus the safety car. –  Hopefully we can beat them. At least it’s the same company so it doesn’t really matter but we will see what happens.

 Kimi, have you ever got angry about anything, and jumped up and down and shouted?
Yeah, many times but of course you’re not happy if you retire or something but I guess it mostly happens more in normal life than in racing.

Can you give us examples?
No, not really.

 What are the kind of things that make you angry in normal life, as you say?
If you keep asking questions like those.

When asked to comment on Hamilton’s crazy move at Fuji that ran everyone off at the first curve: – You have to learn how to find the braking points already when you are six years old while starting in Go Karts. Obviously, you should know how it goes at this level. I don’t know about others but, at least, my father Matti put sticks on the right places for me and for my brother to know where to brake. That’s how you learn that lesson the best and you remember it always where ever you race.

The car is certainly different, but do you feel different to last year?

I don’t know anything about a different feeling. It’s a new season, so it’s hard to know what to expect.

 What about Felipe? Is he still the same guy he was last year or has he changed a lot?

I don’t know. You should ask him. I don’t know what he’s been doing, so if you want to know something about his life you should speak to him.

Who do you see as your main competitors this year?

It could be all tight – but then again, it might not be. I don’t know more than anybody else – I just see the times. That’s it.

On the Yas Marina Circuit

“Well, the first few turns are quite good, but the rest of it is shit”

During his NASCAR debut…

“We’re so fucking shit, it’s unbelievable. The car is shit because I cannot get it turned! It is so frustrating! I cannot get the fucking car turned!”

•••

Pastor Maldonado kör för Williams 2012 och Valtteri Bottas blir testförare och fredagsförare. Den andra föraren är inte officiell, men det lutar åt Adian Sutil. Tysken är på väg att läna Force India och säger:

– Jag är 100 procent säker på att jag kör F1 2012.